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Oh Imagination...

Monday, April 12, 2010

Oh Monday. How you just love to grace me with your presence each week. This time it was a bit strange to see you again though. Working through the weekend really does throw you off. I will cope though.

So I've noticed that with many of other women who are either struggling with weight loss or have lost tons of it and kept it off seem to have one thing in common. They all still feel fat. Apparently it's a curse. I didn't really know about the curse until recently but I almost am unsure it will carry the same importance for me. You see I think I've been lying to myself in the opposite way. I think I've been trying to convince myself that I am skinny. I think I've always seen myself as skinny, but rarely acknowledge that I am in fact a fatty. When I dream I am the skinny girl. When I buy clothing I tend to think I can fit into things I cannot, which makes the fitting room not to fun, and explains some of the odd looks I get when I carry those things in there. But really I think I've always just imagined myself skinny. 

Well I'm tired of imagining it. I want to actually be skinny. I am working hard for it. And although I know it's going to take a while, I know this is worth it. Because I really believe that I am. So therefore I can be. Also in the words of Prior Fat Girl, "It took years to pack these pounds on and it's gonna take at least that long to take it off." So it's time for mind and body to be one. Skinny here I come.

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