Tired of my fat self...

Monday, April 05, 2010

 This new journey for my life began with a pre-new years resolution (I say pre cuz I'm not the biggest fan of new years resolutions--no one ever follows them and they are easy to give up on). In December I joined the local 24 Hour Fitness. After watching an the finale of the Biggest Loser Season 8, I decided if these prior fat people can lose tons of weight in 12 weeks time then I can definately lose the 60 lbs I need to by next December. Deciding first of all that this is worth it to me I made the move to join a gym since I needed to be more than emotionally invested in this. It needed to be tied to my finances as well.


So I joined the gym. I went ahead and sprung for the slightly extra cost, well the major cost of having a trainer teach me the ways of weight loss. My trainer, D'mitri, got me started with kicking butt and taking names really quick. He took my sorry out of shape self and started me out on a workout that is slowly but surely whipping my fat self in to my much desired skinny self (coming soon to a town near you--smile*).  In a very short time, Jan. 30th to March 6th, I lost over 30 lbs of fat, and gained 20 lbs of lean mass or muscle and I've lost a good 3 inches off my waist since December. The scale unfortunately is deceiving as I have only lost 10 lbs technically. 


Things are well on their way! But that doesn't mean that it's not going to be harder than anything I've every imagined, cuz lets face it losing weight is one of the biggest challenges I will ever attempt. Especially considering my true love of sweet foods. Mmmmm. But that ship has sailed. I have decided that I want this more than anything. Someone once told me That Nothing will ever taste as good as thin feels, and well I believe that now. 


But with three months of my new regimen I have started to become stagnate. I've become tired with the idea of working out and losing this weight. I've lost that spark. You know, the initial excitement of something new, something you know is going to help you. I've become very bored with the idea and I'm terribly afraid of what that could mean. I mean I've lost weight before. About the time I start seeing results I become satisfied and instead of continuing I feel good enough. Well obviously the results I recently received were super amazing, so over the past month I've not pushing myself the way I had been. And to be honest. I can tell. And not that this is any excuse, but my trainer and his wife had twins, so he's been very busy. But I've decided this is Satan's hold on me. He's always tired to make me feel sorry for myself by making me feel that I am not worth anything. I am worth something and I know that being skinny will never make me good enough, because I am only good enough because God made me good enough when he died for me on the cross. I just believe that by losing this weight I will be able to suppress Satan's attempts to haunt me about my size and focus more on what really matters. Me loving Christ with all that I can. So my trainer and I have started working out again tonight. This blog is my new tool for keeping myself accountable. I am going to reach my goals. I am sick and tired of looking back and thinking if I had just keep with working out last year, I wonder what I would look like now. So next year. I want to look back and say, I'm so proud of me. I am so proud of who I have become. I love me and I love my God. How great would that be? 

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